I think scott just propositioned me for sex
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
