They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
