wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
