i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't think brook has ever known best
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
