What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
