that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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