Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
