Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
