be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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