I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
