I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
