So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
