I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
