Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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