question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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