I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
