are you still at the devil's house?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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