sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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