lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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