Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize