Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This baby is an asshole
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
