I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
