my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
