chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
