fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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