She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
