Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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