I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
