If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
