my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
