Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
