Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
