Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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