I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
