Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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