All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
