lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
