I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
