If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
