real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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