is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
