You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
