Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
