so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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