babies were throwing up all over the place
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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