hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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