Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
