Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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