I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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