my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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