Are we in a gay sports bar?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
