the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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