I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
