i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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