I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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