You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
