Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize