if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
