Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
