He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
